More than voters lost out on election night, apparently Mitt Romney fleeced his local ADT alarm representative. Brian Goldstein of ADT, said he received a bad check from Governor Romney and was told “Don’t be such a Jew about it, now Toby will show you out” The former Massachusettes Governor did not feel the need to honor a three hundred dollar check for replacing an electric panel in Mitt and Ann’s 78 room early winter home. Toby, whom Mitt referred to, real name Kenneth McGuire, told press that “Mitt just doesn’t understand he is being racist, you see, he was born with Mormonism, but he is a good guy at heart.”
When pressed to know if Mitt had ever cancelled one of his paychecks, Kenneth responded,
You really think I’d let that Cracka Motha-[expletive deleted] call me Toby if he wasn’t come off the Benjies, [expletive-deleted], my old friends call me Uncle Tom, me and Beyonce laugh that [expletive-deleted] off all the way to the bank, in my Bently motha-[expletive deleted].
Asked to comment, Mitt Romney replied
I have never intentionally been racist towards any peoples, whether chuckers of spears, nor the race that does my yard work, its on the tip of my tongue, they are a funny talking peoples.. Nevertheless, whether your ancestors picked my cotton, or you personally pick my strawberries and vegetables, and cleaned my pool, or one one your “brothers” did, I just want it to be clear, I have nothing against any darkies, you all have your place here in America!
Mormons, known to wear magic underwear to protect against the darker skinned races witchcraft, are sometimes known to exhibit small outward racist comments without being aware. No one will forget Mitt’s response in the early Republican debates, when asked why he had once stated that he did not believe in negroes as a child, and thought they were like the other make-believe monsters he saw on television, he stated that there were no Mormon negroes. When corrected by Bryant Gumbel that blacks had been in fact allowed for almost 50 years now to become Mormons, and supposedly twice as long according to their by-laws and dogmas, Mitt stormed off stage barely able to contain himself, muttering about how “someones gonna pay”.