Associative Press Young Killer Uses "One-Percent Defense" - Associative Press

By Gar Harris
December 12th, 2013


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Texas Judge Jean Boyd has set a new precedent for some classes of society.  Though it has always been the “unwritten rule” of the courts, a Texas Judge has codified the “I’m rich, so fuck you” defense into a recent ruling.  Essentially the argument is as thus, “I’m rich, so fuck you”, and applies to every crime from stealing pension plans to vehicular homicide.

ethan-couch

Panel 1: Ethan Couch looking disgusted by having to be in the presence of the poor.
Panel 2: Couch
Panel 3: Courtroom Artist depiction of Couch at trial

Ethan Couch, 16, of Fort Worth Texas was out for a typical night of stealing beer and running over poor people, looked bewildered at the fact that this would even merit a court date.  “so, I ran some people over, I’m rich, that is just what we do.”

Judge Boyd, saw this not so much as a crime, but more of an opportunity to buy that new speedboat hes been wanting.  “This child still has a long and psychopathic life ahead of him, and I don’t see any reason to change that, in fact i see a million reasons not too, wink wink, get it a million?”

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